Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?
Last Updated: 23.06.2025 04:48
It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.
You are like me, then.
For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.
But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.
It’s still here.
You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.
I had run out of hope.
It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.
But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.
Eating More of These Foods May Lower Your Cancer Risk by 8%, New Study Suggests - EatingWell
And the sadness?
It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.
Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.
Why hasn't Japan legalized same-sex marriage?
The sadness was still there.
In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.
I was tired of fighting.
What are people discussing on BookTok?
So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.
I was tired of trying and failing.
It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.
A rocket scientist wrestles with backlash over her Blue Origin flight - The Washington Post
This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.
Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.
Be who you already are.
Simone Biles calls Riley Gaines 'sick' over criticism of transgender athletes - NBC News
It’s here now, writing to you.
What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.
What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.
Kennedy’s HHS sent Congress ‘junk science’ to defend vaccine changes, experts say - CNN
So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”
When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.
Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.
What are some recommended marketing automation tools for beginners?
Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.
Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.